Back in action

It is official.

We've signed up to play Ultimate frisbee again. This is going to be interesting... Haven't played in 2.5 years. However, Mireille still practiced her throws. So that shouldn't be an issue. It's going for the disc that is scary... Hope no one throws it to us in the end zone. The pressure!

For anyone reading this with an injured ACL, don't worry. It's not that it took that long to recover. I also had a baby during that time. Caused further delay...

Of course, I'll be suited up in a knee brace for insurance.

Despite some fear, we are looking forward to it!!

Almost one year since surgery

In a couple of weeks, it'll be one year since I went under the knife. Time flies. People still say to Mireille: "Wow, it took a long time to get well again."

Really? Strangely, it feels like a distant memory but, at the same time, it feels like it was yesterday. That probably doesn't make any sense whatsoever but it's the best way I can describe it.

And, by the way, that is meant to encourage people. In the moment it seems like forever but looking back it'll be nothing. Don't sweat it. (Okay, well that's a bit unrealistic...)

Our current dilemma is whether or not I should go for a one-year check-up. Frankly, Mireille doesn't see the point. Like I said in the last post, the leg is still small so we can guess what the surgeon will say...

"Keep working at it."

Do we really need to hear that? Who do I think I'm fooling? I still pop, crack and can't bend all the way.

Maybe we should just book a physio appointment, go on the torture device and see where my strength is at... Then Mireille can decide about the surgeon visit.

What should I do??

1 year since injury

Today marks exactly one year since my injury.

In fact, it was even around this time (7:30-ish) that Mireille collapsed and remained frozen to the ground. She wouldn't look at me. She was sure I was black and blue and the size of a soccer ball. All she could think was:

"OMG, my kneecap is shattered and probably the bones in my legs. It's ok, they'll fix you... they'll fix you..."

She didn't even look at me as they took her in the ambulance. The whole time she just stared straight up, repeated the mantra "they'll fix you..." and focused on her breathing to get through the pain.

"I'm sorry miss but we can't give you any pain medication."

What!?!?!

Mireille finally glanced down at me in the hospital. I wasn't even swollen... She panicked for a second: "Did I make a scene for nothing?"

The extent of my injuries only revealed itself the next day. And, we now all know, I didn't make a scene for nothing - unfortunately!

***

We saw the surgeon again today. Dr. B told us another 3 months until our return to sports...

22 weeks, 1 day

We're feeling super duper!

(I just felt like saying "super duper"... oops, there I go again! But, really. How often do you get to say "super duper"??)

I don't have much to report so I thought I'd update the blogosphere on our workout schedule.

Day 1 @ gym
Bike warm-up
Leg press machine
Straight-legged dead lifts
Calf raises with dumbbells
Cardio workout (elliptical, treadmill or stairclimber)

Day 2 @ gym
Bike warm-up
Ball squats
Hamstring curl machine
Calf raise machine
Cardio workout (elliptical, treadmill or stairclimber)

Every morning we do at least 15 minutes of yoga and, most evenings, we get another longer yoga session in. 1 - 2 times per week we hit the pool (laps and now plyometrics in waist-high water). Biking outdoors once a week. Started also working the upper body at the gym.

On weeks where we don't go to physio, we fit in a third gym workout and add lunges + stability exercises.

Voilà!

21 weeks, 2 days

Real pain or fear pain?

A work buddy is seeing a physio for knee issues. She is experiencing pain in various areas of the knee and my situation surely increased her paranoïa. Her physio is reminding her to question whether it's real pain or fear pain. How smart.

The yoga is highlighting some of Mireille's own fear pain. Currently, the most challenging asana by far is Child's pose. I can't quite bend to the point where Mireille is sitting on her heels. I also feel a sharp pain when being bent and pulled in towards the chest. So much for full flexion.

However, during tonight's practice, I noticed that I felt bendier the more Mireille cleared her mind, relaxed and breathed through it.

So, what's new? We're starting to walk with a swagger. Oh yeah...

The big 2 - 0

I'm at 20 weeks and there's more letting go to do.

My physiotherapist is off on vacation for two weeks and, judging from tonight's performance, I don't need to see a replacement while he's gone. That will be very strange because I've been going there regularly for almost a year now. It's my social outing... my opportunity to meet and chat with other busted, reconstructed or don't-know-what's-wrong-with-it-yet knees.

I will replace the physio appointments with additional gym workouts and see how that goes. Hopefully, if all goes well, the appointments will become even more far between.

Mireille is still dealing with mental blocks when it comes to running and jumping properly. We've started practising these in the pool and perfecting the motions.

I bet you thought I was the hard one to train, huh? Mireille's paranoid brain is going to be the biggest challenge.

19 weeks, 3 days

Holy geez!

I forgot to mention a huge milestone, yesterday. This is going to sound really bad but there's no other way to say it simply.

Mireille showered for the first time since her injury!

Ok, now let me explain...

After we got hurt, Mireille had a really hard time just standing there. Plus, we could barely put any pressure on me. So, we starting taking baths.

Wash hair = bath
Quick wash after the gym = bath
Sore muscles = bath
Cold outside = super hot bath
Regular, everyday cleaning = bath.

We really liked taking baths in the first place so this was the perfect excuse for taking them every single day.

"You're using a ton of water..." How about you bust your knee and stand in the shower?

"It's been months, why are you still exclusively taking baths?" Hey, we really like baths.

"It takes you forever..." I must admit, this is true.

And, with that, I'll finish by saying Mireille really appreciated how efficient the morning routine was when we didn't have to wait for the tub to fill up, pour a bucket of water on Mireille's head ten times to get all the shampoo out and rush through breakfast to make it to work at a decent time.

19 weeks, 2 days

I don't have much to write about but feel obligated because it's been a while.

The walking keeps getting better. I am now getting more positive feedback from people and less "are you ever going to get better?" By the way, YES I am!

I've discovered that we can now jump. It was scary at first but surprisingly easy. I should have tried jumping a long time ago.

I catch a bit when I try to run so this part of the progress is still slow...

I still go to physio once a week. It's my social outing and I'm not ready to let go, yet.

I do an intense leg workout at the gym twice a week. Every non-gym day I either bike, swim, "run", jump, throw the disc. It all depends on my mood. Every day, though, I do yoga morning and evening.

17 weeks, 6 days

The injury happened about 3 weeks before the European honeymoon. Cancelling was not an option.

We endured the cramping of a 10 hour plane ride to another continent. Climbed up to the Acropolis in Athens and walked the mile-long fortified wall that surrounds the old town core of Dubrovnik -- all with the help of handy-dandy crutches.

There was no stopping us. The crutches even followed us onto the black beaches of Santorini. I can still shake sand out of them...

It was sometimes hard not to trip people as we made our way through the hordes of tourists. But that's a story for another day.

Mireille can't really complain because she got prime seating in Rome's famous Sistine Chapel and one of very few chairs in the House of the Virgin Mary on the way to Ephesus, Turkey.

It's in this House, or small chapel, that I got approached by the nun.

"Can I give you this?", she said. Of course! Who doesn't like gifts?

It was a small pendant of none other than the Virgin Mary. Mireille considers herself to be a very spiritual person, and although she doesn't actively participate in organized religion, she thought it was a sweet gesture.

She immediately began wearing it and never took it off for about 11 months. The only time it left her neck was on surgery day. It was with us during a lot of rough moments.

But this past week, it was put away for good. It's time to let go of the crutches -- the handy-dandy but cumbersome ones, and the simple but powerful ones.

It's time to complete this process on our own.

17 weeks and my birthday

I came into existence exactly 30 years ago today.

I told myself I would enter this new decade running. That I would jog on my birthday. Rain or shine. Limp or no limp. Pain or no pain. And that's exactly what I did.

I'm sure we looked pathetic. The movement of running was there but it was the speed of a normal person walking. The crows were laughing. It started drizzling. But we persisted for a good 1.6 kms.

Then, the thighs started shaking and the rain came down harder. Time to call it a day.

I actually felt pretty good after the "run". No swelling, no pain.

We might try again real soon.

16 weeks, 3 days

Namaste!

We did yoga today for the first time and it felt great. A few moves were avoided due to lack of strength but, overall, was able to do quite a bit. It was a nice change from doing plain ol' stretches.

I guess you could say that we've recently begun our return to sports. Since the last entry, we participated in a volley-ball "game", threw a football around and "played" Ultimate frisbee. Okay so we mostly stood there and hoped the volleyball/football/frisbee would come straight at us. We still don't have the confidence or go-ahead to do any sharp movements.

Regardless, it is better than just sitting on the sidelines the whole time.

4 more sleeps before we try jogging...

14 weeks, 5 days

Today is Sunday. We decided last week that every Sunday we would go biking along the river because the city shuts down a few streets specifically for that purpose.

Last Sunday, we did about 15 km. This week, we are going for 20km.

The real thinking behind all of this is that once I'm better, we are going to do a triathlon or most likely a duathlon (swim/cycle). I'm not sure I want to jog more than I have to after miraculously healing 3 meniscus tears. Would you mess with a miracle??

My friend started competing in triathlons about 8 months after his ACL surgery. Check out his blog: http://www.pbrun.net/.

I don't plan on doing them after 8 months but let the training begin!

14 weeks

Full flexion. Yeah, that's right... full flexion! Let me say it one more time because it's just too darn exciting: full flexion!!

It might have taken longer than average but, in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?

To top it off, as of next physio session, we only have to go in once a week.

I am über happy.

13 weeks, 4 days

Because I haven't been poked and prodded enough...

Mireille decided it would be a good idea to try acupuncture to get rid of the last bit of tension and pain in the knee. She heard good things about this acupuncturist. He's been known to cure people of cancer. Surely, he could do something for me.

We've had acupuncture in the past but nothing like this. This guy is hardcore.

Mireille's used to having the needles lightly tapped into the skin. This guy shoved.

Mireille's used to having the needles lightly moved around to stimulate the area. This guy used heat.

And, when I say "heat", there were ashes all over me. He must have burnt the remaining nerves so I wouldn't feel anything anymore.

All kidding aside, I am feeling pretty good. I haven't had much of a limp since.

13 weeks, 1 day

Mystery solved.

The song is called "Bruises" by Chairlift. Oh, and it does say "knees" twice in the chorus. We're liking it. Apparently, it was featured in an ipod commercial. Who knew? Probably everyone but me...

I know this is going to sound strange but Mireille went out and rented the CPM machine again. Yes, that massive piece of equipment that drove us nuts right after surgery. I tend to crunch and tighten still when bending. Mireille hopes the machine will help smoothen things out. We'll give it a shot for a week and see what happens... Can't hurt.

Today, we tried the hamstring curl machine for the first time. We definitely have no hamstring muscle left! 10 pounds was nearly impossible. Someone even had to spot. However, walking after we felt fantastic. We might be onto something here...

Lesson learned: the quads are important but don't forget the hammies.

12 weeks, 6 days

I heard a catchy little tune on the radio and have no idea what it's called or who it's by. Help, please.

It goes something like this:

"I've got bruises on my knees for you... I've got grass stains on my knees for you... I've got holes in my brand new jeans for you..."

Ok, maybe it doesn't say "knees" twice. I think you can understand why I have that word on my mind.

In fact, most of the lyrics may be wrong. I caught the tail end of the song and only heard the chorus once.

What song is this??

12 weeks, 5 days

My super cool uncle has been in town these past few days and it's been great.

He is an Alexander Technique teacher. The Alexander Technique is an alternative medicine educational discipline with therapeutic effects that studies bodily coordination, including psychological principles of awareness. It is applied for purposes of recovering freedom of movement, in the mastery of performing arts, and for general self-improvement affecting poise, impulse control and attention. (Definition comes from Wikipedia)

He examined our walking and noticed Mireille was walking heavily, as though she had cement blocks for feet. The whole body was being pulled down to the earth.

Can you blame us? If the feet are planted solidly, we are more stable and less likely to fall and reinjure are we not?

If we constantly squeeze and contract every muscle and joint, we're less likely to dislocate something are we not?

With a bit of help from mononcle (my uncle's French slang nickname), Mireille practiced walking and imagining the body being pulled up to the sky. Thus creating space within all of the joints and, most importantly, helping me bend more freely and naturally.

The body knows how to walk. Just like the body knows how to breathe and the heart knows how to beat. You don't need to force it.

Gosh, it's so obvious but not...

12 weeks, 1 day

Yesterday evening, I spent about 3 hours at the National Arts Centre watching the legendary Leonard Cohen. It was a great show and nice to see a man in his seventies with so much spirit. I especially loved the way he skipped across the stage like a child in wide open field. I want to skip around at that age.


But I have one complaint.


I should have been spellbound by his poetic lyrics and storytelling. Instead, I was visually assaulted by his repeated choreographic moves involving a certain joint.


Practically every song began the same way: a fall to one knee... and/or both knees... getting back up... going back down again... Why are you doing that to yourself, Leonard?


Wait a minute - what are you doing to me? Do you have to draw so much attention to the knees?


Are you doing this on purpose??

Exactly 12 weeks

I want to give a shout out to my talented friend (and cubicle neighbor at work) for the best blog header, ever! Check out his website and blog at www.samuraiinstreetclothes.com. There's some really great stuff.

I've been bending pretty good at work but it has slowed down the walk significantly. And it's back to looking zombie-ish. People have noticed (and commented, of course...) but I am going to have to stick it out. Would we prefer to walk quickly with a peg leg or slowly with a natural bend? The latter, for sure...

My goal is to become strong enough by the end of June to allow Mireille to jog on her birthday. We're doing a lot of lunges and squats, and increasing the elliptical workout.

Skip the cake. Just wanna run...

11 weeks, 5 days

Ok, what's been happening... It's been forever.

I hit a major plateau after the last post and nothing was worth writing about. I didn't want to discourage anyone so I refrained from blogging. But luckily, I woke up Saturday morning and snapped out of it.

The sharp shooting pain had been bothering me a lot lately. I was starting to think I would never walk normally again until the pain disappeared... and if that would ever happen!

For the past two days, I've been walking quite well. It seems much easier to bend and put pressure on me. The pain is rarely and barely there. The real test will be tomorrow when it's back to work after the weekend. The (probably self-inflicted...) pressure to get better is terrible in a building of a thousand or so.

I've incorporated lunges into my workout and that seems to be helping. I am bending at 135 degrees (not sure how much better that is going to get...) and can walk downstairs only holding on to one railing.